I am at my friend talngledfire's house. It is her birthday. She be fifteen. We just got back from a dance at her school. It was actually kinda fun. I met her boyfriend. He was kinda super cute. They were so adorable together! I feel kinda weird. I feel sad and i dont know why.

But i am very mmuch trying to keep my streak going. FIVE WHOLE days WITHOUT cryin
g!!! I'm proud of myself. Usually i cry because i feel alone. Thats why i love to be with my friends. To be surrounded.

I realised that  i am that person that is always loud and makes alot of jokes all the time. Thats because i hate when people laugh at me. It makes me feel bad. They make me feel stupid.

People are so mean to me, and they don't even realise it. Maybe they aren't trying to. Maybe I'm just paranoid. Maybe...

I am too much of a push over. I let people tell me what to do, because i think that it makes them happy. I hate more than anything, making the people that i care about upset.

And i feel that, by my being there, i am upseting them.

I don't know what to do or think. I just kinda, go on.